Today I did a bunch of little projects that may look strange to all of you but to me they are incredibly cathartic. I’m by no means a master at much other than staying 🙏🏻sober. That I seem to really have control over more than any human I know. So I do have that notch on my belt. I actually think I’m also the most devoted mother in history to my son. Because I let everyone pretend I don’t exist as his mother but I do very incredible work protecting that kid from the kind of men who raped me and kidnapped me and strangled me. Don’t get me wrong. My son is exposed to them it’s just I took all the abuse so Adam doesn’t have even one dirty fingernail on his sacred soul. But mastering art and sewing isn’t really my expertise but I actually believe I master that too simply because I treat everything I create as a masterpiece.
So. I did something to me left knee. I realized it was sore yesterday. Given that I’m stubborn as all get out I kept pushing myself through the discomfort. Because I thought maybe a vampire kicked me in the kneecap because I said Jamie Spears lost his leg in karma. This is another symptom of ptsd from complex child abuse. And it’s complicated the emotions because if your abuser is someone who’s supposed to love and protect you then the guilt is unsurmountable when you watch them get punished for harming us. You don’t want them to have God make them pay but you also do. Because in my case and Britney Spears it may appear and it may even be the worse case scenario that our parents got great pleasure watching us lose our minds and our children and all our friends and our careers and our future because better we pay their crime then them. It’s twisted I know. But that’s what I did to my knee cap. I twisted it paving back and forth and pushing myself so hard to try to move through this constant suffering. Britney and I seem to possibly have parents who do not care how much she and I suffer. Because if we look the part no one notices their evil part. Child molesters work like this too. They thrive on us feeling guilty for what they did. So if they think we secretly wish them to sit in a wheel chair all day and we end up getting hurt because it’s hurting us to want their abuse to stop the guilt shifts to us innocent victims. But we always feel the most guilt and shame.
But. Now that I can understand that in my quest to pace around like a caged lion feeling like a prisoner in my own life that I pushed myself too hard and I twisted my knee. I can ease up on myself. I didn’t kidnap me. That fucker did. And I didn’t get fat just so I could be attacked by Andrew Esquire. I can see why I get injured a lot trying to run from their nasty abuse. I’m too hyper vigilant that I am super tense and stressed and stiff and never relaxed. An excellent recipe for sore muscles and joints and inflamed knees. So I got this Mr Swift and Joseph AL WIN cousin brother from hell. I got this a lot better then I had been. I won’t get better this life from all I went through but I sure as hell will ask for help and support for me and Britney Spears to get the truth out so no more little kids have to groomed to be music box daddy’s little Lolita sex slaves. Do you hear me Scott Swift? Oh boy you better. There will be a ton of LAWS soon to protect kids called the Walsh Hayden Spears survivor and protection guide from child predators. You won’t ever get me off your mind Mr Swift. Your billions in your bank match GOD’s giant heaven foundation. You won’t be able to compete Scott. You or Coach Reid. Not even close.
1971. I am going to save the world Scott Swift. ☮️ and there ain’t a thing you can do Kingsly to stop me. Not a damn thing. ☮️🤎. I wonder if anyone found your tossed out Air Force Coat when Scott ran?
The Rolling Stones' song "Gimme Shelter" is about the Vietnam War and the chaos that surrounds it. The song's lyrics, written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, cover the realities of war, including murder, rape, and fear. The song's lyrics also appeal to the youth and audience of the Rolling Stones, who sought shelter from the political climate and distress of the decade through peace and progressivism. For example, "It's just a kiss away" refers to peace and love, and "It's just a shot away" means one step away from murder.
Oh, a storm is threat'ningMy very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'
Our very street today
Burns like a red coal carpet
Mad bull lost your way
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
The floods is threat'ning
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or I'm gonna fade away
War, children, it's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
I tell you love, sister, it's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
It's just a kiss away
Kiss away, kiss away
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rollingstones/gimmeshelter.html